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“Dear Woman, Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman, too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will start making you feel like you have to be less of a woman.

The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your own crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand, you do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands.”

From Michael H. Reid’s “Dear Woman

Advice for Girls and Women

 

Don’t “stay sweet”. Be authentic and true to yourself. Be the genuine “real thing”. If that means you’re strong and forceful, then go for it. If it means you’re naturally sweet, then be it. But don’t hold back your power for anyone.

 

Don’t follow others. To thy own self be true. Follow your inner voice that knows what is right for you. Listen to it. Turn around and walk out alone if you need to. You are a Queen and Queens don’t follow.

 

Don’t stay quiet so you won’t offend. Speak up! Let your voice be heard loud and clear. If that means you have to be direct, then do it.

 

Don’t shrink your own power so you won’t overpower others. You ARE power and if you want to lead, then step up to the plate girl and lead! Don’t sublimate yourself to anyone!

 

Don’t stand back, afraid to take up space. Take over the whole damn room if you like!

 

Don’t set aside your comfort or limit who you are for a male’s ego. If you’re smart, then show it. If they want to, they can catch up to where you are. And then you’ll have an equal partner. If not, then just keep right on going.

 

Stop saying, “I’m sorry.” You have done nothing wrong!! Apologize for something you truly regret, but never for who you are or for not “pleasing” someone else.

 

Stop saying “Sorry” and start saying, “Don’t interrupt me.”

 

Stop worrying about how you look. You look fine. Wear your hair and dress the way you want, and if you put make-up on just to please everybody else, don’t wear it!

 

Don’t ever, ever, ever think you need to let someone use you sexually in order to keep them around. If you have to do that, they’re not worth it and you’ll regret it. Kick ‘em to the curb.

 

Don’t laugh at jokes that aren’t funny. If they denigrate others, let the joker know it offends you and walk away. That’s not someone you want to associate with, no matter how popular they may be.

 

Don’t be afraid to say “no” and mean it.

 

If someone offends you, don’t “be nice” and ignore it. Be vocal. Tell them you don’t like what they just did or said.

 

Don’t adjust your majestic self to fit in with someone else. You are perfect just the way you are! Be masculine and feminine and both or neither and never, ever, ever apologize for who you are!

A Blessing For One Who Is Exhausted

By John O’Donohue,

from “To Bless The Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic

Time takes on the strain until it breaks;

Then all the unattended stress falls in

On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,

The light in the mind becomes dim

Things you could take in your stride before

Now becomes laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit

Gravity begins to fall inside you

Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.

And you are marooned on unsure ground.

Something within you has closed down;

And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time.

The desire that drove you has relinquished.

There is nothing else to do now, but rest

And patiently learn to receive the self

You have forsaken for the race of days.

At first, your thinking will darken

And sadness takes over like listless weather.

The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;

Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up

To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain

When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,

Taking time to open the well of color

That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone

Until its calmness can claim you.

Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit

Learn to linger around someone of ease

Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,

Having learned a new respect for your heart

And the joy that dwells far within slow time.

 

 

“Democracy has Prevailed”
President Joseph R. Biden, Jr.

“This is a Sad Day for America”
By John Pavlovitz
January 21, 2020

“This is a sad day for America.”

That’s all a former friend of ours could post on social media during the Inauguration of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

A sad day.

I wondered what made her sad watching it:

Was it a man who’s suffered unthinkable personal tragedy and loss, taking the oath of office at the age of 78-years old, after coming out of retirement to run because he felt an obligation to his nation to save it from a historically harmful presence?

Did that make her sad?

Was it the swearing in of the first female, black, Asian-American Vice President in our nation’s history?

Was she sad about that?

Was it the radiant countenance of 22-year old, African-America poet laureate Amanda Gorman, who overcame a speech impediment to eloquently deliver brilliant words of stratospheric hope to a nation so needing it?

Did that make my friend sad?

Was it the glorious prophetic fire of Rev. Silvester Beaman’s benediction, as he declared that “In our common humanity, we will seek out the wounded and bind their wounds, we will seek healing for those who are sick and diseased… we will befriend the lonely, the least, and the left out.”

As a professed Christian, was that why she was sad?

Perhaps it was the show of solidarity by the living presidents from both sides of the aisle who assembled to witness an inauguration, on the site of what only two weeks prior was a deadly, failed attempt by domestic terrorists to violently prevent it…

Was that cause for her despair?

Or was it the words of President Biden’s speech themselves?

Did his words make her sad?

When he declared:

“This is America’s day… Today we celebrate the triumph, not of a candidate, but of a cause, the cause of democracy.”

Was she sad seeing a man in power not make it something about himself, but about the nation he was charged with serving, about him not needing praise or attention for a millisecond?

Was it hearing him say:

“So now, on this hallowed ground, where just a few days ago violence sought to shake the Capitol’s very foundation, we come together as one nation, under God, indivisible, to carry out the peaceful transfer of power as we have for more than two centuries.” 

Was that clear condemnation of violent domestic terrorism, a moment of sadness for her?

Did sadness come when the President declared:

“To overcome these challenges, to restore the soul and secure the future of America, requires so much more than words. It requires the most elusive of all things in a democracy: unity. Unity. In another January, on New Year’s Day in 1863, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. When he put pen to paper, the president said, and I quote, ‘If my name ever goes down into history, it’ll be for this act, and my whole soul is in it.’

“My whole soul is in it. Today, on this January day, my whole soul is in this: bringing America together, uniting our people, uniting our nation.”

Was something other than a battle posture from a sitting president an occasion to grieve for her? Has she been so conditioned by a small, fragile man whose only play was vilification, demonization, and war rhetoric—that the very idea of unity now brings mourning?

Was she sad when President Biden said:

“To all of those who did not support us, let me say this. Hear me out as we move forward. Take a measure of me and my heart. If you still disagree, so be it. That’s democracy. That’s America. The right to dissent peaceably. Within the guardrails of our republic, it’s perhaps this nation’s greatest strength. Yet, hear me clearly: disagreement must not lead to disunion. And I pledge this to you, I will be a president for all Americans—all Americans. And I promise you, I will fight as hard for those who did not support me as for those who did.”

Was hearing as a Republican in the first 10 minutes of Joe Biden’s presidency, words of affirmation and compassion and validation that, as a non-Republican, were never once offered to me in four years? Was she sad to be considered instead of condemned by a sitting president? Was it him being to her, what his replacement never cared to be for me: a leader who saw me? Was she sad about that?

Was our former friend filled with despair when the 46th President declared:

“There is truth and there are lies, lies told for power and for profit. And each of us has a duty and a responsibility as citizens, as Americans, and especially, as leaders, leaders who have pledged to honor our Constitution and protect our nation, to defend the truth and defeat the lies.”

Have 48 months of abject falsehoods and manufactured reality, now made an affirmation of objective truth a source of personal sadness?

Was it President Biden’s closing, in which he promised:

“My fellow Americans, I close the day where I began, with a sacred oath before God and all of you. I give you my word, I will always level with you. I will defend the Constitution. I’ll defend our democracy. I’ll defend America. And I’ll give all, all of you, keep everything I do in your service, thinking not of power, but of possibilities, not of personal injuries, but the public good. And together, we shall write an American story of hope, not fear. Of unity, not division. Of light, not darkness. A story of decency and dignity, love and healing, greatness and goodness.”

Was that clear, open-hearted declaration to spend himself on behalf of a people and a nation he loves, a moment of sadness for our friend?

I’m going to reach out to her and ask her to name with specificity why she was “sad” watching the Inauguration of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, but I’m not hopeful I’ll get an answer.

I don’t think even she knows.

I imagine she, like so many people in our nation, has been so weaned on a false story of her present oppression and impending demise, so gas-lit by her president into being perpetually terrified, that in this moment she can’t see clearly.

She can’t see that normal is better, that more diverse is better, that words of kindness are better.

She can’t see that this president is for her, that he is for me, that he is for this nation.

She can’t see that this president, while not perfect—actually gives a damn about her in ways the former president simply never did.

That makes me sad.

“Never, never, never give up….!”

Winston Churchill

We are in very difficult times. We feel attacked from all sides; first by the relentless, vicious COVID-19 virus and then by the drastic economic shut down leaving us helpless to meet financial responsibilities. Then we got hit by job losses, making it virtually impossible to catch up with our debts. Further discouragement followed when we had to separate from friends from family.

The very core of our democracy has been under attack by unfathomable conspiracies which countless numbers of people actually believe, so much so, they perpetrated a physical all-out assault on our Capital, threatened to hang VP Pence and kidnap Speaker Pelosi, and five people ended up dead.

To top it all off, we now know that the fox is in the henhouse (and that includes Fox News). Several capitol police enabled and supported the criminal invasion and even worse, actual members of Congress gave mob rioters the information they needed to storm the building and offices.

Marjorie Taylor Greene, the GOP winner of a Georgia congressional seat in a heavily Republican district and a professed QAnon conspiracy believer, posted a picture of herself holding a rifle with photos of three liberal congresswomen of color and the vow to “go on the offense” against the “Squad” an unprecedented threat against lawmakers who have ended up being her congressional colleagues. She has been recorded calling other Black Democrats “slaves” and Trump called her a “future Republican Star”. How can our legislators feel safe in a meeting with people they know have vowed to kill them? Especially now, when it is a distinct reality.

Let that sink in.

How can we run a democratic government under such threat? It’s too much. It’s just too much. We can become overwhelmed with the attacks and want to escape. But we can’t. We mustn’t ever give up. Life can sometimes be harsh, cruel, dangerous and unfair, but take a minute to watch this little bear cub and let his determination speak to you. You may have seen this video before, but believe me, you need to see it in its entirety again.

Watch the full 2.5 minutes here today, tomorrow and the next day, until the courage and determination of this little guy is locked in your brain and your heart.

Winston Churchill and the indomitable, courageous British stood up to the Nazis even though the dead lay all around them and their country had been ravished. They were hungry. They were exhausted. They were afraid. But they never, never, never gave up!

Nor will we!!

With thanks to my good friend Jack Dexter for this video. He encourages us to share it with our children as well.

DEATH – DESTRUCTION – DESTROYING DEMOCRACY

If you supported Trump or any of his groveling sycophants*, don’t even THINK about denying your role in this!!

*Exception: Mitt Romney, who followed moral values and was the ONLY one to impeach him last year

WoW: TIME

“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed, will never pass again. Enjoy every moment in life.”

TIME

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw every cent out, of course!

Each of us has such a bank account. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.

Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day, it opens a new account for you. Each night, it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get it from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today…

  • To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
  • To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
  • To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
  • To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
  • To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
  • To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
  • To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special–special enough to spend your time with. And remember:

Time waits for no one. 

In 2020, I asked…

I asked for strength

And Life gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom

And Life gave me problems to learn to solve.

I asked for balance

And Life gave me overwhelm to learn to set boundaries.

I asked for patience

And Life sent me challenges beyond my control.

I asked for prosperity

And Life gave me a brain and brawn to work.

I asked for work

And Life gave me the ability to be creative.

I asked for courage

And Life gave me danger to overcome.

I asked for self-control

And Life gave me temptations to learn to say, “No”.

I asked for love

And Life gave me people in need.

I asked for clarity

And Life gave me chaos to teach me focus.

I asked for success

And Life gave me failures to teach me perseverance.

I asked for a healthy perspective

And Life gave me plenty of times to laugh at myself.

I asked for favors

And Life gave me opportunities.

I asked for help

And Life gave me a mirror.

I received nothing I wanted

And everything I needed.

As we enter the year 2021, we have an open space to create whatever we want. Our lives will be as we make them through our own choices. May our actions, reactions and inactions reflect the lessons we have learned from this past year.

Although we are alone in our personal growth, let’s never forget we are in this experiment called “Life” together. Let’s support one another, care for one another, forgive one another (and yourself, too). Everyone did the best they could, (including you). Remember, there are only two reasons to go to the past…to learn from it and to bring along some nice memories. Let’s let 2020 go and open our hearts and welcome in a brand new year.

Happy Healthy New Year Everyone!

WoW: Right Now…

Right Now…

Somebody is very proud of you.

Somebody is thinking of you.

Somebody is caring about you.

Somebody misses you.

Somebody wants to talk to you.

Somebody wants to be with you.

Somebody hopes you aren’t in trouble.

Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.

Somebody wants to hold your hand.

Somebody hopes everything turns out alright.

Somebody wants you to be happy.

Somebody wants you to find him/her.

Somebody is celebrating your successes.

Somebody wants to give you a gift.

Somebody thinks you ARE a gift.

Somebody hopes you’re not too cold or too hot.

Somebody wants to hug you.

Somebody loves you.

Somebody admires your strength.

Somebody is thinking of you and smiling.

Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.

Somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.

Somebody thinks the world of you.

Somebody wants to protect you.

Somebody would do anything for you.

Somebody wants to be forgiven.

Somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.

Somebody wants to laugh with you.

Somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.

Somebody is praising God for you.

Somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.

Somebody values your advice.

Somebody wants to tell you how much they care.

Somebody wants to share their dreams with you.

Somebody wants to hold you in their arms.

Somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.

Somebody treasures your spirit.

Somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.

Somebody praises God for your friendship and love.

Somebody can’t wait to see you.

Somebody loves you for who you are.

Somebody loves the way you make them feel.

Somebody wants to be with you.

Somebody wants you to know they are there for you.

Somebody’s glad that you’re his/her friend.

Somebody wants to be your friend.

Somebody stayed up all night thinking of you.

Somebody is alive because of you.

Somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.

Somebody wants to get to know you better.

Somebody wants to be near you.

Somebody misses your advice/guidance.

Somebody has faith in you.

Somebody trusts you.

Somebody needs you to send them this letter.

Somebody needs your support.

Somebody needs you to have faith in them.

Somebody will cry when they read this.

Somebody needs you to let them be your friend.

Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you!

WoW: The Voices

The Voices

We all know the voices, the ones that rest within. One calls out to move forward, the other cautions to stay back. The adventurous voice breathes great quantities of oxygen into our lungs while the other takes in only enough to safely exist. They are in constant conflict and each urges us to LIVE…yet, one flies on the wings of trust and love as it sparks a connection with universal energy and all that ever was and ever will be, while the other scrambles backwards on feet of fear found only in the physical world of limitation. Each calls to us…

What do you long for…hunger for…starve for?

Which voice will win your game of life… survive or thrive…?

For Longing*

By John O’Donohue

Blessed be the longing that brought you here

And quickens your soul with wonder

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease

To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity and friendship

Be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for, longs for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide you thoughts and nurture your feelings.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as spiritual urgency.

May you know the urgency with which your higher-self longs for you.

*Edited for content

“When you realize your self-worth, you’ll never sell yourself short again.”

What Are YOU Worth?

A father said to his daughter, “You graduated with honors, here is a car I acquired many years ago. It’s several years old. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them you want to sell it and see how much they offer you.”

The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said,

“Dad, it’s not worth much at all, but if it’s okay with you, I think I’d rather have the money! They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out.”

The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”

The daughter shrugged and went to the pawn shop, and returned to her father and whined, “Dad, they were even worse! The pawn shop offered $100 because it was a very old car.” The father asked his daughter to go to a car club and show them the car.

Exasperated, the daughter begrudgingly took the car to the club. She returned and excitedly exclaimed to her father,” Wow, Dad, unbelievable!! Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it since it’s a Nissan Skyline R34, an iconic car and sought after by many.”

The father said to his daughter, “The right place valued the car the right way. That value was always there, but those who were ignorant of its worth did not see it.”

If you are not valued, do not be angry or frustrated, it simply means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.

Many Thanks to my dear friend Sally von Rumohr for sharing this on Facebook