“Nothing is perfect in carpentry. Or in work. Or in love.”
Mark Lange
Many years ago, I wrote a Weekly Words of Wisdom Quote on corporate teamwork. Mark Lange, a Silicon Valley senior executive and client of mine (now a dear friend) responded with his following observations of teamwork and building a tree house. It is simply too good not to share…especially near Father’s Day.
“Yesterday after the kids finished their homework and music, we climbed into the tree house we’re building. It’s pretty neat (totally over the top, actually, as you might expect) – old windows from the salvage yard that Jake picked out ($5-$10 each, a splurge) and helped me load into the VW bus, redwood siding cut from cheap knotty fence boards, a sharply peaked roof soon to be nailed up with salvaged cedar shingles – the works. There’s even talk of wiring it for lights and putting up a zip line… though Mama hasn’t approved this (yet).
So there we were, aged 4, 8, 10 and 47, with the tape measure, carpenter’s square, pencil, saws, nail gun – up there in tight quarters with our common goal and real differences (in patience, enthusiasm, motor skills, numeracy, willingness to share and take turns, proclivity toward drama) – all wanting and needing to be of use, to know that our contributions are of value, to see the difference we’re making.
All of the dynamics you talk about in your marvelous piece (on corporate teamwork), they were in ‘play’ at this ‘work.’ And really, what’s the difference?
At first, when Emerson (4) would start sawing a board, he’d go way off the line Jenna had carefully measured and marked. She would chide him. Then he’d get all mad at her – strategy being a hell of a lot easier than execution. And I’d have another draw on my margarita, and mumble something about teamwork, respect for each other, everybody needing to contribute. (A margarita machine would make the average corporate manager much more effective.)
Then, eventually, Jake (10) started convincing Emerson to let him ‘restart’ the saw… because Jake already knows, at some level, that contrary to conventional wisdom, there are, in fact, times when a good carpenter blames his tools… and Emerson would go back at it, a bit straighter now… and Jenna would find herself cheering him on… and Emerson’s little chest (which not long ago I could circle with both hands) would puff out – more with pride than with effort, you could see it — his skinny arms summoning a strength only little kids have, working a saw that’s nearly as long as he is tall, sawdust falling on his sneakers like snow… and no matter how far off the line he might have gone, he’d eventually straighten out and get through it. And it was the most beautiful thing, the way the three of them smiled.
Can I find the words to express how proud I was of them? I have a state-of-the-art, geared circular saw with a laser guide that turns out perfect results in a tenth the time, but that would have been a waste of spirit. And they carried their satisfaction (like magic sawdust in their tousled hair) right to their pillows and into their dreams last night.
Nothing’s perfect in carpentry. Or at work. Or in love. Whatever you think you’re building, things go off center, get crooked, won’t be level. No matter how hard you try, how much care you take, places warp and crack where you least expect it, and sometimes, where you’re trying the hardest, they just split apart. And you think of all that’s imperfect, focus on what has gone so wrong, and imagine how it reflects on you (though really no one notices; and if they did, they’d forgive you if you let them). Because we forget it’s the effort that matters – the will to hope and work your way through everything that, for whatever reason, just has to go wrong.
But now, somehow, there’s a little house taking imperfect shape in the most improbable place (a tree?) – slowly, miraculously – and it is so perfect. Or perfect enough, which is the same thing.
Like kids, trees grow. Even the one we’re putting a house in grew just a bit more last night, I like to think, lifting the little house maybe a fraction of an inch closer to heaven. And what a ride we’re having.”
Several years ago, Mark Lange a highly regarded corporate leader, also decided to follow his lifetime aspiration to write serious commentary on some of our nation’s most challenging social issues.
He has been featured on the Op-Ed pages of the New York Times, the Christian Science Monitor and many other prestigious newspapers and was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. But I think he would proudly tell you that his most important title and life accomplishment is that of “Dad” to three remarkable children.
Happy Father’s Day Everyone!
