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Archive for March, 2013

Life Has No Meaning

beach-meaning-of-life

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.”

Joseph Campbell 

What is the Meaning of Life?

If you are the answer, then take a good look. Whatever meaning you are bringing to life is what will show up in your life. Observe the quality and character of people you attract. Are they honest, accountable, kind and productive? Or are they victims, often complaining about how the world owes them a living?

 Examine the circumstances and situations you attract. Is there joy and fulfillment or struggle and pain? What are your actions, reactions and inactions generating, creating and causing as you go through your days? Are you generally happy and fulfilled and do you feel grateful for all the abundance around you? Or are you often filled with anxiety, suspicion and trepidation? What are the feelings that dominate your experience and what do others experience around you?

 What does all of this tell you about what you consider meaningful?

 Who are you? What are you? If each of us has meaning, perhaps it is to BE WHO YOU ARE, to be the unique miracle you were born to be, to fulfill in implied promise to the world. If that is so . . . how are you doing? At any given moment you have a choice . . . a choice to give or take, create or complain, connect or separate, thrive or just survive. Each choice you make determines your experience of life, making it meaningful or meaningless.

“When you were born, you were given a ticket called Life. It didn’t promise you a good show. It didn’t promise you a bad show. It just promised you a show. What you make of it is up to you.”

Stewart Emery

 Only you can decide. Essentially, there’s nothing to “get” – only a space to contribute. There’s no inherent meaning to Life. It’s up to you. How’s the show so far?

 Take a few minutes to listen to this 4 minute video of what one child’s view of life. It is quite special . . .

Child’s Meaning of Life 

Thank you to my good friend Karin Tredrea for sharing this video. It was good, wasn’t it?

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Two Kinds of Power

Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.

Mahatma GandhiWoW pic

I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days, they tell the man every good thing he has ever done.

The tribe believes every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

But sometimes in the pursuit of those things, people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true Nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he’d temporarily been disconnected: “I AM GOOD.”

 I looked up the definition of the word “good” and I was most interested to find words like: “being positive or desirable in nature, worthy of respect, honorable, benevolent and kind.” These definitions aren’t based in moralistic judgment, but rather, decribe “good” as a natural expression of the miracle within us all. Perhaps we should be more like this African tribe and focus on each other’s authentic inner beauty and not our flaws.

 Then, rather than using our personal power to overpower, manipulate and control through punishment, criticism and anger, we can use our power to empower and inspire others to rise to new levels of natural “goodness” through acknowledgment, praise and love.

 Thank you to my good friend, Dawn Moore Lockett for sharing this story.

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Rings 01

“The goal of a marriage is to stay together, not just to endure, but to grow, learn and thrive together.”

 PLEASE DO NOT MARRY IF . . .

 1) You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.

Marriage isn’t about you getting all your needs met through another person. Practicing self-denial, patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of a great marriage. If you want everything done your way, there’s a much better chance of that happening if you stay single.

 2) You are easily offended, take things personally, carry grudges and are unwilling to forgive.

It is not enough to simply forgive, you must be able to forget. It’s important also to not be one who stockpiles things from the past, ready to fire them at your partner when it serves you. You have to be able to let go. As Corinthians says, “Love…keeps no record of wrong.”

 3) You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally or physically) OR if you find yourself constantly being abused.

If you find yourself always badgering, attacking, blaming or making your partner wrong, you are a bully. If it is happening to you, you are being bullied. It is abuse. Get professional help.

 4) You are unwilling to commit.

Love in marriage isn’t just a feeling. Love is commitment. A marriage that goes the distance is really hard work. If you want something that is easy and has immediate gratification, then go get a cup of coffee.

 5) You have an unresolved addiction problem.

Love is strong, but drugs, alcohol or substance addiction can be stronger. If one or the other of you is addicted, you need professional help.

 6) Your career is the most important thing in your life.

How you will be received by your partner has less to do with how much money you make or how much you accomplish, and more with how you have loved and lived.

 7) You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision.

Many people marry agreeing to “play ball” together. Then one picks up a club to hit the ball and the other bounces it and they argue over how the game should be played. Neither one is right/wrong. One is playing golf and the other is playing basketball. They’re simply not playing the same game. It doesn’t work in marriage.

 8) You are unwilling to be an active partner intimately and sexually with your spouse.

The definition of intimacy is a close or warm friendship; a feeling of belonging together. In marriage, you must be a good friend. If you insist on finding your sexual gratification outside of your relationship or frequently engage in sexual stimulation without including your partner, you are settling for a shallow substitute of the real thing. That’s not marriage.

 9) You are unwilling to agree on an approach for handling finances, children and life decisions.

Too often two people marry with two sets of blueprints. As they begin building, they discover that a home can’t be built from two very different sets of plans.

 10) You expect your spouse to change after you get married.

A person only changes if he/she wants to, not because YOU want them to. And then, they change only on their terms not yours. Get it.

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