
“If they can’t breathe, neither can I.”
Orlando Machias
Self Mastery Basic, Advanced and Source Point Leadership graduate
The author of the essay below is a graduate of my self-development courses, so I know him quite well. He is an outstanding man of integrity and caring and had to retire from the police force due to a physical injury. I have not talked to him since the most recent murder of Rayshard Brooks who was just shot in the back by a white policeman, but shortly after George Floyd was murdered, Orlando shared his own experience of racism within the police dept. . . .
“Being a former police officer, as well as a person of color, just my perspective….
I encountered my own upsetting experiences/issues prior to being in law enforcement (shotgun put to my head while cuffed, wrong person in wrong vehicle but fit description, pulled over dozen times within a year to have vehicle searched, no tickets, no good reasons other than turn signal not used, etc.) and I had some upsetting issues/experiences as well while I was in law enforcement within a department based on my color/culture (listening to racist comments about communities…in jest, seeing some officers treat people differently based upon their own ignorance/bias, “told” to enforce certain practices when it wasn’t policy, singled out and “reprimanded” for use of language when engaged in conversation with others using same language who were not reprimanded, etc.).
I have seen/heard/read so many sides to this and at the end of the day, my opinion coupled with substantive examples and statistics, as well as social/emotional feelings….this has absolutely everything to do with color/race/ethnicity, whatever you want to call it.
I worked alongside of many great people, good hearted, kind, loving, community oriented, god fearing etc., but, ignorance, status quo, history, rituals, experience, often got in the way of these same officers. Even the love of their God got in the way of their work. Judgement creates incredible differences in people. Could I say some were racists? I could, but the argument would be they have a black/brown friend or fellow officer (sometimes me) so they could refute it. Did some not like other certain types of people? Possibly. Could it be their own experiences, habitual dealings with same group/person, ignorance of others? Maybe.
This is a systemic problem, I would call systemic racism. This does not imply that You are a racist (Definiton: a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another)
This is a difficult subject for good natured people who truly feel as though we are all equals. Difficult because it goes against your own virtues.
Here is how it is a problem in particular to law enforcement….
Some officers would trump up charges on certain people, while not treating others the same. Cruise “tough” neighborhoods because it was more “fun.” Utilize discretion when “they” saw fit, and not during other times or with certain other people. Now, they were not breaking policy or laws, so couldn’t really report them or make a difference with complaints, but their bias/ignorance infiltrated the “outcomes!”
Outcomes is all that should be measured. How many outcomes are directed by bias/ignorance and even more importantly, systemic racism. Outcomes such as the killing of another!
I heard often “doesn’t matter who what or where, they break the law I take them to jail!” But it did matter! When their friend’s son got in a big drunken fight and committed an assault, “he’s a good kid from a good family so let’s just send him home.” Now, would they do that for someone they didn’t know? Of course not. Would they be more inclined to do that for someone who looks like them, from same neighborhood, speaks the same language, etc. I say likely.
I had a loaded gun pulled on me and came close to losing my life, I was so fortunate to keep myself alive and even more fortunate to not have to take his life! Yes, very fortunate to not have to take a life.
I didn’t train to kill, I trained to protect. Never a great shot, why, likely because I never wanted to use it! Can’t honestly say. Always wanted to make it home safe for “my” family, but if that meant I should err on the side of my own life, as opposed to another’s, I always felt torn. I always said if I got killed doing my best to uphold my own integrity, then so be it.
I will say that I prefer my mentality as opposed to a militaristic Us vs The Enemy type of mindset which would allow my thought process to shoot at a teenage boy in a local neighborhood even once, let alone several times until they were destroyed.
People screw up, it’s what makes us human, but what makes us hated is when we don’t request forgiveness, offer our apologies, or pledge to do better, and actually do better.
I agree, majority of police are ethical, reasonable, in it for the right reason, but wife beaters, cheaters, drunks, racists, etc, they bear the blue too! Problem is they are protected. The same union that protects us from BS claims or department discipline for not writing enough tickets, also protects cops who beat their wives or do a variety of other crazy and un-becoming of an officer type of things.
Couldn’t bear watching the entire Floyd video, sick to my stomach watching the lifeless body under the knee. I don’t give a shit what he did or didn’t do, he was in cuffs and there were several officers on scene, so WTF!
I’m glad I never had to witness and never took part in excessive force. Some interactions I observed were debatable, but luckily I never saw anyone get seriously injured or someone truly go overboard during an arrest and very happy that I never seriously injured anyone I arrested.
As for looters, stupid! Protesters, I’m good with it. I will say someone peacefully protesting while kneeling during a national anthem was ridiculed and ostracized, called out by president and hated by many, so do I understand why the protests have grown violent, yes, do I like it, no! Would I protest, yes, right now, no! Only because my values and the voice I want heard would be overshadowed by the extremist groups, opportunists, and many other idiots who have no idea why a protest was even started. Just as the police, actions of a few speak volumes for the many!
What else can be done? I have no idea. People talk about prayer, what has that done? Pretty sure Floyd was praying for his killer to stop. People want more prayer in school, is that going to create a better system? Religion has been used to persecute people from the onset of society so pretty sure that is not a basis for an answer.
Worst part about all of this is how separate we are becoming. There is currently nothing united about these states we currently live in. Covid-19 caused us to physically stay away from each other, and another senseless death of a colored person at the hands of a white Officer has socially and emotionally, pushed us even farther from one another.
United we stand, divided we fall. If they can’t breathe, neither can I.
The brothers and sisters in blue….stay safe, do the right thing, hold each other accountable and demand each other’s best. The public, be the change you want to see in the world.
These are interesting times we are living in. May this current extreme darkness bring forth a blinding light for the future.
Not for just my children, but all of ours!!”
In the best interest of the police themselves and the people they protect, support the reformation and transformation of our entire justice system starting with the United States Attorney General and all the way down to the cop on the corner . . .
Speak UP! Show Up! VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!
DEMAND JUSTICE FOR ALL!!!
Thank you to my good friend Orlando Macias for sharing his truth with us all.
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