Archive for October, 2011

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.”

Thomas Szasz

(Hungarian Psychiatrist)

Are You Suffering From Microwave Mentality?

Ever hear yourself say, “I get bored easily” or “I just don’t have the patience for that” or “I have a short attention span”? Ever get annoyed because you have to repeat a task, stand in line, or drive in rush hour traffic? Ever find yourself needing constant stimulation, something to do, to listen to, to say . . .

If so, then you are showing signs of suffering from “Microwave-Mentality”, a self-sabotaging Child-like state of mind and type of behavior that wants everything NOW.  It limits your growth and maturity. Many people find themselves confronting this condition on a daily basis.

Those who are committed to their personal growth and transformation, learn from these moments. They shift their thinking and reactions and reap the rewards of peace, calm, serenity and balance.

They respond like the Adult.

Others don’t. They indulge themselves in excess stimulation and activity and pay the price – frustration, irritation, and over load. They respond like the Child.

If you are committed to making progress in your life as a person, parent or professional, you realize that it takes sustained effort to pay attention to your choices, actions and reactions. It takes time and focus. It takes commitment. The part of you that doesn’t want to do the work necessary, (the Reactive Child) will do everything in its power to try to divert your attention and will attempt to derail you with many temptations – anything to keep from doing what you need to be doing which it labels as tedious and boring!

Rather than arrive at an appointment early, fully prepared, calm and centered, that little self-sabotaging Child will do everything to try to derail you. It whispers in your ear, “If you’re early, you’re going to be bored. Besides, you can get one more thing done before you go and get there just in time.”

You know as well as I do what happens when you listen to that voice. You end up ramming and cramming things in, rushing around like a madman, driving like a crazy fool, endangering the lives of others, tires screeching as you drive into the parking lot, impatiently annoyed at anything or anyone who gets in your way and then you come running into the appointment late.

Exciting and stimulating? Yes. Mature and in control? No.

You stand in line at the DMV for a full hr. waiting for them to open the doors, only to discover that on Thursday, they open at 10AM instead of 9AM.

BINGO! Right then, at that moment, you get to choose between boredom or serenity – childish reaction or mature adult response. You get to choose whether you will be:

  • A victim of your circumstances: “I have to wait another #@%&* hr.!! What a waste of time! This is SO BORING!!”
  • OR in control of your experience:  “This is a good opportunity for me to exercise acceptance and realize that in the scope of things, this is a minor delay. I will use this time to plan my day, relax and be pleasant to the people around me.”

The Child within us fears boredom, needs constant stimulation and demands instantaneous results. It creates some of the most destructive habits that keep us from accomplishing growth and accomplishment. It takes us off track and undermines us with useless activity.

The Adult within us on the other hand, sees the bigger picture. It can step back and assess a situation with a balanced, controlled eye. It realizes that whether you are starting a new business, raising children, responding to an event, or changing a personal behavioral pattern, it takes patience, repeated effort, consistent commitment and hard work.

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Steve Jobs 1955-2011

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.

Cecil Beaton

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listen to the following graduation speech by Steve Jobs delivered at Stanford University, 2005



“Don’t dare to be different, dare to be yourself if that doesn’t make you different then something is wrong.”


“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

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You’re a Magnet

“Success is something you attract by the person you become. So to attract dedicated people, you must be dedicated. To attract positive people, you must be positive. To attract loyal people, you must be loyal. To attract gifted people, you must be gifted. To attract sincere people, you must be sincere. So it is not in the pursuing that you get, but rather it is in becoming that you get.”

Jim Rohn

Stop for just a moment. Take a look at the people around you, your boss, co-workers, peers, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, family members. What are their attitudes, judgments, beliefs and behaviors? Are they generally positive people with strong moral character or are they difficult, combative or less than exemplary in the way they live their lives?

Do you find yourself wishing certain people would just be “different”? Do you find yourself complaining or fussing at them? Have you been waiting for them to change? Have you tried to change them? How’s it working? My guess is that it isn’t! That’s because . . .

“No matter how hard you work on the wrong thing, it makes no difference.”


Your results are not about them. They are about you. What you put out comes back to you and you can always tell what your mind set is by what shows up around you in your life. Results don’t lie. They are a direct reflection for your framework of thinking and behaviors.

“That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t work every time, Martha,” I often hear people say. “I AM nice to people. I am always looking out for their best interests but they never look out for mine.”

“And are you also looking out for your best interests as well as theirs?” I ask.

“Well no,” is the answer. “That would be selfish.”

No it’s not. It’s you being lazy. If you don’t look out for your best interests, then how can you expect anyone else to? If it’s not important enough for you to make it a priority then why should anyone else care? What you put out, comes back to you. Both positive and negative.

Take a look around you and assess your results in terms of the people who are there and what is happening in your life. If you are surrounded by friends, then you are likely a good friend.

If you are lonely and alone, somehow you push people away. What beliefs do you have about what happens when you trust and love others or about your own love-ability?

If you are wealthy and successful, those things are likely important to you and you have made them a priority.

If you are financially struggling and lost, then what do you need to change within yourself to attract different results? What choices are you making that actually keep this abundance away from you? What beliefs are you getting to be right about regarding money and success, regarding your deservedness to have it?

What/who shows up around you is in your hands. It always has been.

As you change yourself, your beliefs and behaviors, so will the results around you change and that sometimes means that some people will be attracted to you and others will simply drift away. It’s called the Law of Attraction and it always works.


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