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Not Everyone Will Like Us

Not Everyone Will Like Us

As much as it is a pleasant experience to be liked, the reality is not everyone will. Yet, how much time and energy do we sometimes waste, trying to get someone to like us? We adjust our personalities to suite others’ wants and needs, we laugh at things we don’t think are funny, we say what we think others want to hear, we are overly helpful to a fault and often at our own expense.

When we come to depend on the approval of others and measure our self-worth by their judgments, we lose our way. We lose ourselves.

Like tends to attract like and usually if someone doesn’t like us, it’s because they aren’t like us. They operate with a different energy, have distinctly different opinions or perspectives and see the world through a much different filter. What is important to us, may not be for them and what makes sense to them, may seem ludicrous to us.

This does not mean there is anything wrong with us or with them, it’s just that we are attracted to different things and people, and no matter what we do, they may still not like us. We could stand on our head, twiddle our thumbs and spit nickels and they still would not be attracted to us.

The same is true in reverse. We also may not like everyone we meet. I’m sure we can all think of someone we just don’t “fit in” with, or someone who rubs us the wrong way, annoys and frustrates us. We find ourselves judging and criticizing them as we try to change them to our likeness, hoping they will be more like the person we know they “should” be. Likewise, when we allow our disapproval of them and the way they think and act affect us in negative ways, we lose our own way. We lose ourselves.

However, if we allow others to think as they do about us without taking it personally, then we give them freedom to be themselves and we reclaim it for ourselves as well. When we accept others as they are without making them wrong and accept the differences, then we too, are set free to be whom we are.

Rather than try to shape ourselves into someone we aren’t or try to force someone to change to our liking, through acceptance, we can each move along our life’s path free to be ourselves and free to attract those who do vibrate with the same energy.

If we do this well, we will not only learn one of life’s greatest lessons, we will be a gift of love to all we meet.

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“Keep what is worth keeping and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

                                                            Unknown

Keep What Is Worth Keeping

They were solid, good, hard-working people, their life was simple and focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, my Dad in trousers, t-shirt and a hat as he worked on the farm and my Mom standing by the hot stove cooking something wonderful while; lawn mower in his hand, and dish-towel in hers.

It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things they kept.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away …never to return. So . . . while we have it …it’s best we love it … and care for it …. and fix it when it’s broken … and heal it when it’s sick.

This is true …for marriage … and old cars … and children with bad report cards … dogs and cats with bad hips … and aging parents … and grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

In the middle of the consumer driven world of today, where we frequently trade in our iPhones, TVs and computers for the latest and greatest, it’s important to remember to keep what is worth keeping; things like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special … And so, we keep them close in heart and mind and spirit.

We keep the good memories… of times that warm our hearts, put a smile of our faces, and delight our spirit… and we keep the lessons learned from past choices we don’t want to repeat of things we did and said that we regret, or of those things we didn’t do and say we wish we had.

And all the rest . . . with a breath of kindness . . . we simply blow away . . . 

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“It was good for the skin to touch the earth.”

Luther Standing Bear – Oglala Lakota Sioux Chief

There were very few Native American leaders who were able to occupy the rift created between the traditional way of life for the indigenous cultures and the new way of life forced upon them by the arrival of European pioneers and explorers.

However, that doesn’t mean it never happened. People like Black Elk, Charles Eastman, and Gertrude Bonnin knew what life was like in the Great Plains before the Europeans arrived and they saw what it was like afterwards as well.

Another prominent figure who lived through the transition is Luther Standing Bear. He was an Oglala Lakota Sioux Chief who was raised in the traditions of his people until he was 11, then he was then educated at the Carlisle Indian Industrial Boarding School of Pennsylvania, where he learned how to speak English and learned the European way of life. (Carlisle is recognized as a National Historic Landmark, but still remains as a place of controversy in Native circles.)

Like his contemporaries whom we mentioned above, Luther Standing Bear had deep native roots. This left him as a unique conduit between two cultures. He was extremely successful in the white man’s world; he landed numerous roles in Hollywood films, but his enduring legacy was the protection of the way of life of his people. By the time he had passed on, he published 4 books and had become a leader at the forefront of a progressive movement which focused on preserving Native American heritage and sovereignty. Here are 10 quotes from the great Sioux Indian chief known as Standing Bear that will be sure to disturb much of what you think you know about “modern” culture:

  • Praise, flattery, exaggerated manners and fine, high-sounding words were no part of Lakota politeness. Excessive manners were put down as insincere, and the constant talker was considered rude and thoughtless. Conversation was never begun at once, or in a hurried manner.
  • Children were taught that true politeness was to be defined in actions rather than in words. They were never allowed to pass between the fire and the older person or a visitor, to speak while others were speaking, or to make fun of a crippled or disfigured person. If a child thoughtlessly tried to do so, a parent, in a quiet voice, immediately set him right.
  • Silence was meaningful with the Lakota, and his granting a space of silence before talking was done in the practice of true politeness and regardful of the rule that ‘thought comes before speech.’…and in the midst of sorrow, sickness, death or misfortune of any kind, and in the presence of the notable and great, silence was the mark of respect… strict observance of this tenet of good behavior was the reason, no doubt, for his being given the false characterization by the white man of being a stoic. He has been judged to be dumb, stupid, indifferent, and unfeeling.
  • We did not think of the great open plains, the beautiful rolling hills, the winding streams with tangled growth, as ‘wild’. Only to the white man was nature a ‘wilderness’ and only to him was it ‘infested’ with ‘wild’ animals and ‘savage’ people. To us it was tame. Earth was bountiful and we were surrounded with the blessings of the Great Mystery.
  • Kinship with all creatures of the earth, sky and water was a real and active principle. In the animal and bird world there existed a brotherly feeling that kept the Lakota safe among them. And so close did some of the Lakotas come to their feathered and furred friends that in true brotherhood they spoke a common tongue.
  • This concept of life and its relations was humanizing and gave to the Lakota an abiding love. It filled his being with the joy and mystery of living; it gave him reverence for all life; it made a place for all things in the scheme of existence with equal importance to all.
  • It was good for the skin to touch the earth, and the old people liked to remove their moccasins and walk with bare feet on the sacred earth… the old Indian still sits upon the earth instead of propping himself up and away from its life giving forces. For him, to sit or lie upon the ground is to be able to think more deeply and to feel more keenly. He can see more clearly into the mysteries of life and come closer in kinship to other lives about him.
  • Everything was possessed of personality, only differing from us in form. Knowledge was inherent in all things. The world was a library and its books were the stones, leaves, grass, brooks, and the birds and animals that shared, alike with us, the storms and blessings of earth. We learned to do what only the student of nature learns, and that was to feel beauty. We never railed at the storms, the furious winds, and the biting frosts and snows. To do so intensified human futility, so whatever came we adjusted ourselves, by more effort and energy if necessary, but without complaint.
  • …the old Lakota was wise. He knew that a man’s heart, away from nature, becomes hard; he knew that lack of respect for growing, living things soon led to lack of respect for humans, too. So he kept his children close to nature’s softening influence.
  • Civilization has been thrust upon me… and it has not added one whit to my love for truth, honesty, and generosity.”

H/T Wisdom Pills

Image: Kirby Sattler

Thank you to my good friend Erika Kolod for sharing this with us

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Trump recites from the teleprompter (what was written for him) about the recent mass shootings.

 

“Trump doesn’t just pollute the social environment. He is the environment.”

George Will

      Pulitzer Prize Writer and Demoralized Republican

“On May 8, 2019, Donald Trump laughed when someone in his audience shouted in response to his shouted questions about would-be immigrants at the southern border. His question was, ‘How do you stop these people?’ The shouted answer was, ‘Shoot them’. Trump with a grade-schooler’s delight in naughtiness, broadly smiled and replied, ‘Only in the Panhandle can you get away with that statement.’ But does what happens in the Panhandle stay there?” asked George Will.

 

Certainly not. The people who marked their ballot for Trump along with his groupies throughout the country are all compliant. His refusal to condemn extremism is fueling White Supremacists and they loyally stand by him. When he won in 2016, Richard Spencer, White Nationalist leader said, “Hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory.” David Duke, neo-Nazi leader exclaimed, “This is one of the most exciting nights of my life…Our people played a huge role in electing Trump.” When asked to condemn the white supremacist violence in Charlottesville, Trump refused and instead said he thought there were “good people on both sides.”

 

The resurgence of white supremacy has been startling. Hate-based terror and crimes across the nation for the past three years, which also coincides with Trump’s campaign and presidency, has increased at the rate of 2,026 % . In 2019 alone, there have only been 218 days, but there already has been 250 mass shootings in our country.

 

 

Yes, you read these statistics correctly. I’m not surprised. Trump has demonized immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and Guatemala and complains they are “invading“our country. He called Mexicans “rapists”. He refuses to denounce hate crimes, yet glibly denounces African “shithole countries”. He issues executive orders to bar all Muslims from entering this country. He is the master of division.

 

Not all mass shootings are a result of racist sentiments. Some, like Newtown and possibly the recent slaughter in Dayton, are the result of mentally ill men who are angry for whatever reason and Trump knows how to tap into peoples’ most basic fears and angers. Anger turns to hate and hate to violence. His rhetoric inflames the hatred and gives permission for violence. The mentally ill and racists alike are empowered by his words . . . and his followers never question, but keep blindly following.

 

We are now all aware how the Justice Department under Trump is eviscerating the enforcement of our nation’s civil rights. The Republican Senate led by Mitch McConnell, who panders to the gun lobbyists and the NRA, has repeatedly refused to entertain common sense gun laws, which would so clearly help quell some of this violence.

Just read Heroes and Cowards to see the astounding statistics.

 

Ho-hum . . .

 

Polls indicate that approximately 40% of Americans are more than willing to overlook and disregard all the hateful rhetoric, playground insults and name-calling, the spiteful bullying, and the infantile mocking of the handicapped. They made excuses for him when he admitted to being a sexual predator grabbing women’s pussies “whenever he wanted” and were not disturbed when he openly prowled the dressing rooms of the Miss Teen America dressing rooms. They insisted his attacks on the four Congress women of color were not racially motivated. In fact, most jumped on board with him. Only one kind of person could think his statement of “Go back to where you came from” wasn’t rooted in racism.

 

Additionally, Will adds, “Polls indicate that approximately one third of Americans, disproportionately including religiously devote warriors about the coarsening of America’s culture, are also merely content with this, “because they do nothing but complain with one another as they fiendishly absorb the controversies which the media doles out to the public like chum to sharks. Are they not as accountable as those who are mesmerized and easily manipulated by this grotesque spectator sport called the presidency?

 

Will states, “It is quite another thing to have a president who does not merely pollute the social atmosphere with invectives directed at various disfavored minorities; he uses his inflated office not just to shape this atmosphere, but to be this atmosphere.”

 

Will concludes, “When Gerald Ford became president after Richard Nixon’s resignation, he told the nation, ‘Our long national nightmare is over.’ Today’s long – and (increasingly) lethal – national embarrassment will continue until at least Jan. 20, 2021. If it continues longer, this will be more than an embarrassment to the nation, this will be an indictment of it.”

 

We the people are either a part of making this a better world or we aren’t. At any moment, we are either creating connection or separation, win/win or win/lose, respect and common decency, or hateful rhetoric that demeans some and empowers others.

 

“We have met the enemy and the enemy is US!”

 

If you want a better world, do something about it. Speak up. Show up. And for the sake of all those who have been abused, demonized and killed for their race, religion, gender and sexual orientation . . . or simply killed out of rage . . . don’t do what you usually do and finish this article and go back to whatever you’re doing!

 

Right NOWcontact your Congressional representatives and tell them to enact gun laws that protect its citizenry and be very, very careful how you mark your ballot in 2020!!!

 

 

Will concludes, “When Gerald Ford became president after Richard Nixon’s resignation, he told the nation, ‘Our long national nightmare is over.’ Today’s long – and (increasingly) lethal – national embarrassment will continue until at least Jan. 20, 2021. If it continues longer, this will be more than an embarrassment to the nation, this will be an indictment of it.”

 

We the people are either a part of making this a better world or we aren’t. At any moment, we are either creating connection or separation, win/win or win/lose, respect and common decency, or hateful rhetoric that demeans some and empowers others.

 

“We have met the enemy and the enemy is US!”

 

If you want a better world, do something about it. Speak up. Show up. And for the sake of all those who have been abused, demonized and killed for their race, religion, gender and sexual orientation . . . or simply killed out of rage . . . don’t do what you usually do and finish this article and go back to whatever you’re doing!

 

Right NOWcontact your Congressional representatives and tell them to enact gun laws that protect its citizenry and be very, very careful how you mark your ballot in 2020!!!

 

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“Beauty is the illumination of your soul”

How many years of beauty do I have left?
she asks me.
How many more do you want?
Here. Here is 34. Here is 50.
When you are 80 years old
and your beauty rises in ways
your cells cannot even imagine now
and your wild bones grow luminous and
ripe, having carried the weight
of a passionate life.

When your hair is aflame
with winter
and you have decades of learning and leaving and loving
sewn into the corners of your eyes
and your children come home
to find their own history
in your face.

When you know what it feels like to fail
ferociously
and have gained the
capacity
to rise and rise and rise again.

When you can make your tea
on a quiet and ridiculously lonely afternoon
and still have a song in your heart
Queen owl wings beating
beneath the cotton of your sweater.
Because your beauty began there
beneath the sweater and the skin,
remember?

This is when I will take you
into my arms and coo
YOU BRAVE AND GLORIOUS THING
you’ve come so far.
I see you.

Your beauty is breathtaking.

~ Jeannette Encinias

 

Thank you to my good friend Teri Smith Freas for sharing this with us

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No Worries – He’s Not Your Son

 

For the past year, Laurene Powell Jobs, Founder and President of Emmerson Collective (and wife of the late Steve Jobs) has worked tirelessly to shed light on—and fight—this administration’s inhumane immigration agenda.

Lawyers have helped block some of the cruel practices at the border, nonprofit organizations have reunited thousands of families, and news organizations have done essential reporting on immigration.

There is no caring or empathy for the effect these severe, heartless, depraved actions are having on the people involved, after all, a little boy like the one above is not their son . . .

The raids began this past weekend, and I ask you to please take a moment to join me in advocating for justice for immigrant families. Share information with your communities, support organizations on the front line, call your Members of Congress —every action matters.

If the administration is only going after criminals as they claim, then they wouldn’t be announcing it ahead of time. They only make the announcement to terrify people and cause them anguish. This administration and all those who support their actions, endorse governing through fear and hatred and it is just plain wrong.

There are lawful ways to manage immigration constructively and humanely and I definitely support effective policies and a strategy for solutions.

Jamming people in cages (cattle cars?), denying them basic human needs and separating them from their children are appalling acts of injustice . . . all being carried out under the flag of the United States of America.

If this does not represent you and the America you stand for, then please, do your civic duty. Emmerson Collective has identified 4 ways you can help . . .

1  Show your support for the organizations, lawyers, advocates, and doers who are helping lead the fight.

Several groups listed below provide services such as legal representation and essential aid for immigrant families at the border and across the country:

2    Contact your Members of Congress.

    • Encourage your Senators to pass real solutions to the humanitarian crisis at the border, like the Central America Reform and Enforcement Act S. 1445.
    • Call on your Representatives to restrict funding to Border Patrol and ICE, which were responsible for family separation, the recent deaths of children in custody, and other abuses. Dial 1-877-790-7557 to be connected now.
    • Sign this petition calling on Congress to defund immigrant jails and family separation.

3    Stay on top of the latest immigration news with top-tier investigative journalism.

Visit The Atlantic, ProPublica, and The Center for Investigative Reporting for more information and to subscribe to their news alerts.

4 Volunteer legal services.

We The Action, a digital platform that makes it easy for lawyers to find and volunteer for critical, impactful, and urgent legal needs, has volunteer opportunities available to help parents and children who have been separated at the border. Lawyers can sign up to access projects here and nonprofits who need lawyers can sign up here.

THANK YOU!

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Teaching the Caterpillar to Fly

The caterpillar crawls and eats and eats.

And grows, shedding its skin, but little more.

Crawl, climb, eat. Crawl, climb, eat.|

Of all of our lives, can we not soar?

One day, two caterpillars looked

as a beautiful butterfly sailed by.

Of course, one said to the other:

“You’ll never get me in a butterfly, high.”

Gratitude, laughing and smiles.

But no clear understanding or view

of these ironies and implications.

What was The Answer you knew?

Resistance. Perspective. Change.

All of these and more are involved.

Yet, insight is limited. And self-perspective too.

My mother was a moth – this problem is solved.

One must STOP in the caterpillar journey.

For transformation, what we can become,

one must change to a much gooey mess,

to undergo metamorphosis and change.

Is the potential understood? Is it realized?

We just don’t know. Yet it does.

The Call of The Wild. And the need to Become.

Gain the wings, lose the teeth and the fuzz.

It is about letting go, trusting the process

of growth and experience and your view.

It is Becoming. You are more than you are

with things you already had.

And you knew?

The colors are on the butterfly.

And already within what we were.

Can we all learn from this? Can we help?

These changes will most surely occur.

Author Unknown

 

Thank you to my beautiful daughter for sharing this with us.

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