The Most Important Attitude

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

 

I believe that everything that comes into my life, regardless of whether it appears to be “good” or “bad”, is a gift that is there to support me to evolve spiritually. Do I know this to be true? No. I do not own the truth. But I do recognize that this perspective allows me to feel peace, acceptance and love and I notice that when I operate from this place, I am better able to respond effectively to whatever is in front of me. Therefore, when I am my most conscious self, I look for something in the situation for which to be grateful.

But is there ever a time when this is not possible, like when one loses someone very close to them for example? I think there may be some events that are so deeply painful, like the loss of a child for example, that one never gets over it. But even with great tragedy, we can still find something for which to be grateful . . . for all the good times we had with that person, even if they were brief . . . for the wonderful lessons they taught us . . . for the memories we will have forever . . . and that can help ease the pain. When we focus on the gratitude, it helps us deal with the sadness or the anger. We are empowered to elevate our spirit and we transform our thinking and experience.

The same can be true in other situations. Let’s say you were recently laid off or a terrible mistake occurred for which you were responsible. Do you feel grateful? Probably not. Likely you feel afraid, alone, angry, anxious and a myriad of other negative feelings that leave you feeling stuck and trapped. Perhaps you even feel like a victim as the lay-off was beyond your control or the mistake was due to someone else’s carelessness. Imagine how difficult it will be to find another job or to regain trust from your boss from this framework of thinking!

What if you made a shift and decided to find something in the situation for which to be grateful? Laid off? OK, time to get creative, maybe it’s an opportunity to go in a completely different direction, to do something you’ve been wanting to do all your life. Made a big mistake? OK, what did you learn? How are you smarter? How can this make you an even better, more experienced employee, boss, owner?

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude . . . the most important attitude you can ever embrace!

Recently, a friend, Robin Donohoe, connected me to the following site and I have found it to be quite remarkable. I invite you to take some time to look through it and allow the message of gratitude to fill your heart. Perhaps you will make it a daily discipline. Here is a video from the site:

http://www.gratefulness.org/brotherdavid/a-good-day.htm

A Touching Story

“We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals… In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.”

Henry Beston

I believe parts of the following video are an excerpt from the movie Eight Below. No doubt, these are trained dogs acting out a scene, and I would have thought it suspiciously contrived had I not seen the way my neighbor’s cows acted when one of their own lay dead in the middle of my field last summer. They all gathered near her and the bull continually tried to get her up. He moved all around her, nudging her again and again and he was clearly in distress. Some of the other cows also tried to move her with their noses. Others mooed. She had obviously been dead for quite awhile, but they did not leave her. When the neighbor came to cart her away to a big pit on his property, they all silently followed single file as if in a funeral procession. They watched her being placed in the pit, stayed around for a little while and then all gradually left. Another cow adopted her young calf and gave her milk.

How many stories have we heard about elephants caring for one another and of how they demonstrate obvious mourning behaviors when they lose one of their own, sometimes for years; about dogs travelling miles and miles to get help for their injured owners, of whales and dolphins helping drowning people. We really know so very little of what is going on in the minds and spirits of all the animal life around us. Many seem to have a sensitivity and  social consciousness and devoted sense of loyalty to one another that may inspire some of us to stop and consider our own.

This video is almost 13 min. long. You may not want to watch all of it, but you might want to take a couple of minutes to recognize the message herein. It is titled “A Christmas Story” but can be told any time of year. If you like dogs, you will love this video. If you are indifferent or don’t like them perhaps by the end you will. Enjoy:

“Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”

Albert Einstein

The Most Important Thing You Can Do This Year

 

 

The Most Important Thing You Can Do This Year

I have no problem with God, the concept of God or peoples’ belief in God. I, in fact, consider myself to be a very spiritual person and will forever defend one’s right to believe however they choose. But I am tired of people telling lies about the role of God in the U.S. Constitution and the founding of this country. I am tired of people using God to divide, judge, separate and disregard the rights of others who may not believe as they do. I am tired of politicians preaching that God is on their side. I’m tired of the lies and hypocritical ways people and clergy use their view of God to deceive, manipulate and coerce others. I am tired of people who espouse a particular belief in God and think that makes them better than anyone else. And I am tired of the many ways the belief in God and religion (any belief system) is being used in a way that is tearing our country and our world apart.

By the very nature of our country’s founding, each of us has a right to our private morality, but doesn’t the government, which represents a public morality have the obligation to respect the rights of all its citizens regardless of their private morality?

Let’s get back to the realization and wonderment that we are all created equal, with equal rights to believe and worship or not as we choose and that that choice doesn’t make one person right and another wrong, or one person good and another bad. Let’s get back to our roots and recognize that we are one country, one people and one world and leave religion out of it.

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

Mark Twain

 

Let’s make this New Year different. Let’s respond to facts not fear. Let’s build bridges, not walls. One of the great strengths of the United States is that we are a melting pot, like no other country in the world. That does not make us better, but it does make us different. It also demands something different from us as citizens – something more. It requires us to practice tolerance and acceptance of all people who follow the laws of this great nation, regardless of their personal morality or religious beliefs.

Let’s make 2012 a year filled with respect for one another, a year when we look for the best in people whether they be friends and family or complete strangers; whether they live and look like us or whether they have different customs, clothing and color of skin; whether they believe in the same God or don’t. Let’s look for the human similarities and goodness within and in so doing, we will connect with our own goodness, which, in fact, may be the most important thing any one of us can do this year.

Do You Have 6.5 Minutes?

 

 

Happy New Year

 

Do you have 6 1/2 minutes to simply stop what you’re doing to elevate your energy, open your heart and bond with the universal spirit that connects us all? If so, please watch this video:

 

 

Although there is a Christian reference in the very beginning, please know my message goes to all people regardless of religious belief or no belief at all. God is Love and wouldn’t it be a good way to start the New Year if every one of us continuously integrated it into our lives on a deeper and more profound level, because love is not a thing to believe . . .

 

“Love is not a thing to understand.

Love is not a thing to feel.

Love is not a thing to give and receive.

Love is a thing only to become and eternally be.”

Author Unknown

 

and any road you use to get there is OK with me.

 

This New Year, may each of us be acutely aware of what Lee Mun Wah said:

“I cannot keep from thinking about [politicians] telling a reporters that cutting 700 billion dollars from Medicaid, 23 billion from food stamps and cutting 50% from the Pell grants that helps poor income students to go college really won’t affect the poor, the old and the hungry. Or the horrible image of the seventy-six year old woman burning in an elevator set afire by a man who said she owed him thousands of dollars. Or the 20^th young person committing suicide in the past two years, by hanging herself because of being harassed and bullied for being different- the youngest victim being only ten years old. Or the young African American student who came to school excited to show his friends how he had his barber cut him a second part in his hair, only to have the principal fill it in with a permanent black marker because he felt it was “improper social attire.” I can still hear the young boy’s mother crying out, wondering why no one stopped this horrible thing from happening.

I do not know how to reconcile all these events in my life. All I know is that as this year is about to expire. We must remember to care for those around us, to look up and to see those who are hungry and poor and without hope and be outraged enough to do something about it. Mother Teresa was right,

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

And so, my wish for all of you in this New Year is that you remember to love and to cry. There is so much to be thankful for and so much that we each can do to make this a more compassionate and just world. “

 

 

If you . . .

• Don’t have 6 1/2 minutes right now (or even later) to view something that connects you to your Higher Self . . .
• Simply identify the reason why.
• It is likely running your life and keeping you from being fully present and joyful in this world.

 

 

 

Thank you to my dear friends, Maureen Maguire for the video and Karen Aiken for the poem

 

Watch This and Observe Your Heart

“When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.  Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?” 

G.K. Chesterton

 

As we near the completion of 2011, in order to learn the lessons that were being taught to us, it is time to reflect and give thanks for the bounty of gifts that were delivered. Let us never forget to be grateful for even the most simple things, the things we tend to take for granted.

 

I am grateful for the air I breathe, the ability to eat and drink and chew.

I am grateful to have arms and legs that work pretty well

I am grateful for my sight and hearing and the ability to speak and communicate my thoughts and feelings

I am grateful to simply have feelings, happy, sad . . . I’m just glad to be able to feel.

 

The list becomes incredibly long as you consider everything and everyone in your life. Let’s keep in mind, we didn’t earn these things, we didn’t do something to deserve them. We were freely given them for the limited time we are on this earth. We are indeed blessed people living in abundance.

 

Even if you are facing serious health problems, or a daunting challenge or sadness, you can still find much to be thankful for. Gratitude is the attitude in life that brings us inner peace, regardless of our circumstances.

 

When we face life with a positive attitude and a grateful heart,  we respond differently to everything and everyone around us. The impact it has on our daily experience is enormous and the contribution it is to others is immeasurable.

 

Please take a moment to watch this video and observe what happens to your heart. (only 4 min.)

 

 

May you complete your year with gratitude and appreciation, and as you prepare for 2012, perhaps you will ask yourself, “What will be my attitude for the year ahead?”

 

What is Christmas?

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore.  Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.  What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Dr Seuss

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”

Charles Dickens

“Christmas is a necessity.  There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.”

Eric Sevareid

“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.”
Eva Logue

“Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish.  Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself.”

Francis C. Farley

“I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day.  We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year.  As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year.  And thus I drift along into the holidays – let them overtake me unexpectedly – waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself:  “Why, this is Christmas Day!”

David Grayson

“Christmas gift suggestions:  To your enemy, forgiveness.  To an opponent, tolerance.  To a friend, your heart.  To a customer, service.  To all, charity.  To every child, a good example.  To yourself, respect.”

Oren Arnold

“What is Christmas?  It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.  It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.”

Agnes M. Pahro

“When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow,

We hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago

And etched on vacant places

Are half-forgotten faces

Of friends we used to cherish, and loves we used to know.”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”

Ogden Nash

For those of you who believe, I wish you and yours a blessed Christmas. For those of you who celebrate this time of year in other ways, I wish you a joyous Holiday. Whatever your traditions, I wish you a season of quiet reflection, boisterous laughter, tenderness, intimate sharing, and most of all, I wish you a time of deep and profound gratitude for no matter what our situation in life, we are among the most privileged people on this earth.

With love,

Martha

Charlie Knew Two Things

“If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat.”

Author Unknown

 

Charlie Knew Two Things

 

“He was a smart dog. Many dogs are. But what Charlie knew was more than where the cookie jar was kept or how to spell W. A. L. K. He knew a couple of things I could do with knowing better myself.

When he was a year old I had to put up a sign for the humans in the house – Don’t open this door without checking if the dog is at your feet. Someone missed the sign as I’d only written it on a board about half the size of China. Charlie shot out. I ran into the public street screaming after him, “come here you little bastard.” But he was much too busy sniffing the world, marking the lampposts and ducking in and out of traffic to pay any attention to me.

This went on for a long time, a couple of near heart attacks and an imagined stroke – all mine and no one else’s. Eventually I managed to entice him into a field across the road where he then sped around the peripherals daring me to catch him. He loved this game. His favorite part was when I would dive full-length rugby tackle style mucking my good shirt but coming up dog-less as he sidestepped gracefully.

Then I got inspired. I dropped down in the middle of the field and played dead. It took him a minute to become concerned. He approached cautiously. Convinced by my Oscar worthy performance that I really was a goner he began to lick my face. I grabbed him. He didn’t struggle. It had been a good day and he knew there would be many more.

Years later, when we lived on a farm in The Netherlands, Charlie and his ‘sister’ Ella would run through the woods with me. One day I tripped over a root and fell flat on my face. I wasn’t hurt. The dogs could see that but what struck me in a weird way was that they weren’t laughing at me. C’mon let’s face it – had they been humans they’d have been clutching their sides convulsed with merriment – nothing is quite as amusing to us as a grown man falling snoot first in the muck. I was embarrassed but Charlie just glanced my way as if to say, “get up and get on with it.” So I did.

He loved to bark at the thunder. I’d let him out the back kitchen door because otherwise he’d deafen me. The sky would roar. Charlie would roar back. Then the dark clouds would rumble like the world was coming to an end. Charlie would raise the woof levels and continue relentlessly. In the end of course the elements would move on leaving this medium-sized black dog to strut back into the kitchen ‘mission accomplished’ written all over his face.

“Charlie,” I’d say, “That’s a waste of energy. The storm goes away whether you bark at it or not.”

He would consider my point but his reply was always the same. “Maybe, but I can’t risk it.”

To this day I think I was right about the thunder but Charlie knew two things. Life is for living to the fullest and when you fall down flat on your face don’t waste a second worrying about what people might think – just get up and get on with it.”

Dezy, The Pianobike Kid

Thank you to my friend, Bob Morley, for sharing this sweet story with us.

You Live and Learn

 “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.“
Douglas Adams

The following are statements gathered from a number of people age 5-95, many of which were collected in the 1995 book, Live and Learn and Pass It On, Volume II 

Life is constantly serving up lessons and a lesson is taught until it’s learned. If you don’t learn it, it will not go away. It will only get bigger and louder. Once it is learned, there will be another lesson. Like it, don’t like it, that’s just the way it is. . .

How long does it take you to learn something? Do you often fight learning the lesson before you? Do you resist it, deny it, ignore it and avoid it? Or do you stop and listen . . .  do you stop and observe. . . are you willing to let go of what you think you know and learn the lesson life has to teach you? What have you learned in your life that you would like to pass on? Write to me and tell me some of your life lessons and how they have changed you.

I’ve learned…..That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned….. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….. That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

I’ve learned….. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned….. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…..That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned….. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned….. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned….. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned….. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned….. That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…..That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned…..That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned….. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…..That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned….. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned….. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned…. That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…..That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned….. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I loved her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned….. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned……That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned……That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned….. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

I’ve learned…..That with every person I meet and most especially with those closest to me, I hold their hearts in my hand.

and some people will never learn . . .

“Maybe you’ll live and learn. Maybe you’ll crash and burn.“
John Legend

The choice is yours. It always is.

Thank you to my dear friend Maureen Maguire for sending me these wonderful lessons

Success is Not the Key to Happiness

 

 

 

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

Author unknown

 

 

Many times you will hear someone say, “When I achieve this or accomplish that, then I will be happy. They equate happiness with something they do or have. However, recent studies indicate that high achievers are considerably more likely to be people who are doing what they love, than those who are doing what they are doing simply to make money or to be a success. Most successful people are people who include happiness as a necessary ingredient for a career.

 

When you are happy and self satisfied you are more susceptible to learning, you’re more resilient, more creative and more willing to risk and to explore possibilities. Therefore more opportunities open up for you and your chances for finding solutions to problems and the likelihood of making connections with people and situations that lead to success are significantly increased. As all of this unfolds, you learn to trust yourself and others and your self esteem grows. As your self confidence develops, so does your decision making ability . . . and so on.

 

Those who live in the world of stress and worry often fill their lives up with endless social events, activities, meetings, volunteer work and business demands. At the end of the day they find themselves exhausted only to get up the next day to repeat the cycle all over again. Or they close themselves off and shut themselves down, simply out of self-protection and thereby reduce their chances to succeed.

 

Where are you on the well-being/happiness scale? Are you doing what makes you feel fulfilled and excited or do you find yourself dragging yourself through the day? What makes your heart sing? What would you like to be doing that would make you leap out of bed in the morning, eager to start the day and allow you to rest peacefully at night? If you are not already there, then go find it. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find your joy and success will soon be yours.

 

This is important to remember not only as a guide for ourselves but for raising our children as well. We tend to fill their lives with “opportunities” – soccer, play practice, music lessons, tutors, dance recitals, riding lessons and end up stressing not only ourselves but our children as well. “Hurry up and put your uniform on, get your tap shoes. We’re going to be late, where in the world did you leave your flute?” We hear ourselves say in high pitched voices filled with tension. But where is the happiness? Are our children doing what they love or are they simply doing what we think they should?

 

Do these activities bring value to a person’s life? Do they help build character and develop life skills? Of course they do, but when they are overdone it comes with a price. Family dinners are lost in the mad dash between sporting events, visits to see grandparents are delayed until holidays, simple down time with a good book or a walk in nature or a quiet conversation about their hopes and dreams are put “on hold”. But aren’t these just as important to their development and perhaps even more important for their well being and happiness? Perhaps if we helped them discover what they love to do – truly love and enjoy – and helped them focus on what makes them happy, then achievement will naturally follow.

 

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun at what they are doing.”

Dale Carnegie

 

Thank You

 

 

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

Meister Eckhart

Thank you to all my readers. Thank you for your support, your helpful comments, feedback and suggestions. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and for being a positive source of influence in this world. We are all in this thing called ‘life” together, and I thank you for walking with me.

With gratitude, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving,

 

Martha